Why You Procrastinate Simple Tasks (And It's Not the Task)

May 20

Why does this feel so hard?

If doing the laundry, doing the dishes, taking out the trash, or organizing your space feels harder than it should, you're not alone. I've got the answer. It's not a hack or a planner, but it's probably something you've not been told before. And once you recognize this, you can't ignore it. Let me explain.

You’re not the only one

Now, I want to be upfront with you I do not have ADHD myself. But I have spent over 40 years living and supporting family members who do, and I have seen everyday tasks, especially the simple ones, become overwhelming and stop them in their tracks.

You may have experienced this as well, not because the tasks are hard, but because it's all the emotions and the feelings that arise. Before you even begin the task.

Because some of us would rather watch than read, I also made a video that breaks it down for you. Check it out here👇

The weight you can’t see

Picture this. You're wearing a backpack, and every time you have a thought, a feeling, or you say out loud, “I hate this task” “Doing dishes is stupid.” “Taking out the trash takes forever.” “This is boring.” You have added another rock to your backpack.

So thought by thought, feeling by feeling, rock by rock your backpack gets heavier until the task in front of you, like folding the laundry, feels like you are swimming upstream against a current.

desk top with laptop and books stacked on top of it with a white coffee mug full of black coffee and a plant all on top of the gray wood desktop.

living room with window, part of a beige sofa with pillows and a women's hands holding a coffee cup resting on the pillows. Next to the sofa is a white coffee table with a plant on a couple of stacked books on top of the coffee table.

It’s not just the task.

And if you have ADHD, here's the twist. Not only do you feel and think these things, but you feel them on a much deeper level. That emotional intensity makes folding laundry, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, and organizing your home much less desirable.

It's not about the task itself, but about the expectations you wrap around it. How long should this take? How should I feel about this?

You may feel it should be easy and quick, but when it's not, you've added another rock to your backpack.

Those expectations can be just as heavy as the task itself, especially if you have been carrying them for years.

You've been carrying this heavy backpack full of thoughts and emotions that we have symbolized as rocks. As the years go by, it gets heavier and heavier.

middle aged woman in the forground of a living room sitting at a wooden table holding a mug. Also on the table is a tea pot and a plate with apples and other fruit on it.

A front loading washer full of clothes of brown and gray. Woman is pulling laundry out of washer and in the foreground is a cart to put the laundry in.

The cycle that keeps you stuck

This brings me to something I call the Identity Loop Effect.

You start off with a neutral situation. Doing the laundry, doing the dishes. All situations are neutral. There is no meaning or thoughts behind it, and then your brain immediately jumps into attaching a story, a thought that instantly triggers an emotion.

Now that situation is neutral until you add your thoughts and feelings. Let me give you an example.

2 white shelves inside a closet. Top shelf has a wire basket with balls of yarn and folded blue and white blankets. Lower shelf has sweaters of gray, white, beige and pink. Also next to the sweaters are gray scraps with tan gloves on top.

A graphic titled Identity loop effect with outer circles with arrows point clockwise between each circle, labeled situation, thoughts, emotions, stories, beliefs, decisions, actions, results. In the center of all the circles is a circle your identity

There is a bank robbery. You have a teller, a customer, and a robber.

The teller has a different meaning and thought from the customer and both have different meanings then the robber does.

The teller's probably thinking, "I have to give him my money. I hope I get to keep my job, and she's fearful for her life."

The customer's thinking, "I've gotta get out of here.” “I've gotta stay safe.”

And then you have the robber who has a different way of thinking about it. It's like he's getting some money. He probably has an adrenaline rush.

There are a lot of thoughts and emotions around this situation. However, all three are in the same situation with different thoughts and meanings.

This is the same thing with the tasks that you do. Your brain jumps immediately to thoughts around the task.

"This is too much. It's too hard. I don't feel like doing it. I just can't do this".Those thoughts immediately, instantly trigger emotions around that task. And those thoughts and emotions create your belief about that task.

So if you feel like you can't do it, you'll believe you can't.

That belief drives your decisions to shut down, avoid, or procrastinate, as well as your results. You still have. Dirty dishes, laundry, take out the trash, organize your home, whatever. Whatever that task is, it's still there because of the decisions you made and the beliefs you have around it.

This is not about being lazy, not caring, or not having the ability to do the task. This is simply about a loop, but this loop can be broken and reconstructed.

If this resonates with you, you'll want to check the blog post, where I share 10 ADHD-Fiendly Tips Make Organizing Easier. Practical ideas that make tasks feel lighter, more doable, and designed for your brain.

10 ADHD Tips

a Caucasian woman in a white top and blue skirt sitting in from of a short white table with wood lets. woman is lean on table with her hand of her eyes and arm on table in from of a laptop.

women leaning sitting on floor leaning to the back of a clothes closet with her knees bent and legs in the foreground. Beige and cream clothes and coats hanging in front of her.

Catch the pattern

Let's reconstruct those loops so those tasks don't feel so heavy, and it starts with awareness. Becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and stories around a task that you don't like to do is key. First, you may not notice those thoughts until after the fact, and that's okay. Our brains run on 80 to 90% automation.

We're made to survive. Our brains try to conserve as much energy as possible, which means everything we do on repeat is automated, including our stories, feelings, and emotions about this task.

The more you practice, the earlier you will start noticing these thoughts and emotions, and that's where the real change begins.

This is where it changes

This is what I call a "Flip the Switch" moment. It's about pausing, becoming aware, getting curious, and deciding to shift your thoughts.

This is not about fixing everything. This is simply about shining a light in that backpack on those rocks that you don't want to carry anymore.

6 images in a grid. Clothes hand on hanger and on a rack. black pencils in a holder with a stack of books. green plant in a white vase on a counter. kitchen utensils in white drawers that a pulled out. Bars of soap, tooth brushes in a holder.

Here’s what to try

Two things you can do to get the shift started. Replace what you're saying when you become aware of what you're thinking and saying, replace it with something that feels lighter.

I'll give you a couple of examples. If you're saying, "this feels hard", "I don't want to do this". Shift that to, "I can do part of this".

If you're saying This takes forever, it will be too long. Shift that to, I can do this for 10 minutes. See if that starts feeling lighter.

If you want to go a step deeper, get curious. Think of this process as an onion, and we're peeling away the layers. Ask yourself, "Why does it feel hard to do the dishes"?Is it because you don't like getting your hands wet? You don't like having to rinse all the dishes off to put them in a dishwasher, a machine that will be washing the dishes anyway.

Or maybe your dishes are sometimes still wet when they come out of the dryer, and you have to dry them or wait for them to dry, and you hate waiting because you're ready to put the dishes away now!

Get curious. Why do you not like doing this? Why does it feel hard? Why is it boring? Peel that layer off, and then when you shift what you say and think, it will hit home better.

Remember, your thoughts and emotions are connected. Once you get curious and start peeling those layers away, you can begin to figure out what's really making you not want to do those chores.

You can then Flip the Switch and shift what you're thinking to make that feel lighter.

So, for all those tasks that you've been procrastinating on, that feel heavy, and hate to do, here are some actionable steps to get started.

Pause and become aware when that heavy feeling hits.
Get curious, what am I thinking right now? Is this true?
Flip the Switch with a thought that feels a little lighter.

Even if nothing changes in your environment at the beginning, you are starting to change internally, making the next step possible.

And if you like shifting your thoughts, feelings, and expectations, then you'll love the blog post 10 ADHD-Friendly Tips to Make Organizing Easier.

Simply Shelly Russell

ADHD Home Organizer for Women. Organize so you can stop searching and always find your things with easy methods tailored to your behaviors and habits.

https://simplyshellyrussell.com